Ting
Every day that passes brings us one step closer to the end of the tunnel. Gilly is extremely tired these days. He sleeps in until about 10:00 these days. His need for sleep has increased. I repeatedly mention to him the fact this is unquestionably to be expected, but my attempt at assurance provides little solace.
My mother explained that when she was losing her hair from her chemo treatment many years back, people would assure her it would grow back. She burned up inside whenever someone made this claim. It did not change things; what she was experiencing was so very traumatizing. She felt she had every right to address her feelings in the moment.
I believe Gilly’s scenario is a similar circumstance. I’ll have to make an effort to refrain from telling him what he already knows. What he needs is a good listener; not try to solve his problems or try to make the hurt disappear. The hurt is real, and has to be expressed in a healthy manner. Gilly is exceptionally brave, and so when he expresses a discomfort, I have to simply listen empathetically. We can all learn from some of his wonderfully effective coping mechanisms.
Ting is the Chinese verb: To listen. The Chinese character to depict this word includes a symbol for eyes, ears, heart and undivided attention. Interestingly it does not include a mouth.
We spent a quiet morning at home together, I writing reports, and he resting. He was not cold at all today. He had a decent appetite, and managed to smile frequently (every ½ hour or so I check on him, offer food and drink, and do or say something silly to elicit that warm smile I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. He never disappoints me!).
John called to make plans for Saturday (he’ll be coming in with his family from New York), so Gilly has special guests to look forward to. We’ll keep the activity level low for the rest of the weekend (except Shabbat dinner, as always), to preserve ample energy to enjoy Michal’s Bat Mitzvah on Sunday evening.
We saw Marvin for a teeth cleaning in the early afternoon, then headed straight for radiation. He snoozed while waiting for his turn (45 minutes late) and I started my reading for next fall’s course (it’s a portable piece of work to attend to). It'll be an early night tonight, as we are both feeling almost as lazy as Liylah, the gourmet hound.
My mother explained that when she was losing her hair from her chemo treatment many years back, people would assure her it would grow back. She burned up inside whenever someone made this claim. It did not change things; what she was experiencing was so very traumatizing. She felt she had every right to address her feelings in the moment.
I believe Gilly’s scenario is a similar circumstance. I’ll have to make an effort to refrain from telling him what he already knows. What he needs is a good listener; not try to solve his problems or try to make the hurt disappear. The hurt is real, and has to be expressed in a healthy manner. Gilly is exceptionally brave, and so when he expresses a discomfort, I have to simply listen empathetically. We can all learn from some of his wonderfully effective coping mechanisms.
Ting is the Chinese verb: To listen. The Chinese character to depict this word includes a symbol for eyes, ears, heart and undivided attention. Interestingly it does not include a mouth.
We spent a quiet morning at home together, I writing reports, and he resting. He was not cold at all today. He had a decent appetite, and managed to smile frequently (every ½ hour or so I check on him, offer food and drink, and do or say something silly to elicit that warm smile I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. He never disappoints me!).
John called to make plans for Saturday (he’ll be coming in with his family from New York), so Gilly has special guests to look forward to. We’ll keep the activity level low for the rest of the weekend (except Shabbat dinner, as always), to preserve ample energy to enjoy Michal’s Bat Mitzvah on Sunday evening.
We saw Marvin for a teeth cleaning in the early afternoon, then headed straight for radiation. He snoozed while waiting for his turn (45 minutes late) and I started my reading for next fall’s course (it’s a portable piece of work to attend to). It'll be an early night tonight, as we are both feeling almost as lazy as Liylah, the gourmet hound.
posted by Gilly at 7:34 PM
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