My calming force

Our day passed with no change to Gilly’s condition. Despite this, he remains even tempered; he’s a real sport about what he has to bear day in and day out. For once, it is Gilly keeping me on an even keel.

Now that the pressure from work has abated, I seem to allow my emotions to surface more readily. It may be a result of a build up of anxiety over time that I had to keep in check while out in the work world. The chasm between our life as it once was and our present situation has deepened. With too much on my plate, the overflow tends to drip off the edge now and again.

It is Gilly who calms me when I get riled up. Sometimes I look at him and wonder, “Who said that? Where did this new person came from?” The ‘orignal’ Gilly is still in there, I assume, but externally a different personality has emerged. I’m not sure if this is due to difference in brain functioning, or the life changing trauma he has endured; perhaps a bit of both.

Two weeks have not fully passed since the end of radiation / chemo. We were told it should take two weeks at the very least for Gilly to begin to recover from the experience. This is vital to keep in mind. Gilly refuses to lower his expectations for daily improvement to his vision, which I guess is what keeps him hopeful. Bearing in mind the doctors’ prediction helps reassure me that healing may take some time to run its course, which I guess is what keeps me hopeful.