I am not amused

The night itself wasn’t too bad, but while I slept soundly in the early morn, Gilly crept out of bed and fell yet again. He managed to push the wheelchair aside and skirt around it before falling; I had conveniently parked and locked it in a strategic location for him to easily get into before embarking on the trek out of the bedroom, but he has superhero tendencies and did not see the need for this support whatsoever. I was devastated and thought he really hurt himself. I tucked him into bed, had myself a minor breakdown, and then tried to convince him we should go to the hospital. He laughed off the suggestion and assured me he was fine. I begged him not to try this stunt again and we both had another rest.

I got out of bed soon after and started to prepare for the day. I checked him every couple of minutes, but managed to miss the next crash; he repeated the same act while I was in the kitchen. It’s as if he waits for me to disappear or fall asleep before trying to defy his own bodily constraints. I know now that I need an alarm to be attached to him so that f he tries to get up it will ring. I saw one in a catalogue, and now I will try to get myself one and fast!

I brought my papers to bed and remained next to him for the next couple of hours while he snored away. I was anxious to see Elizabeth (scheduled to arrive at 11:00) and fill her in on the development of his condition before running off to my 12 o’clock seminar. I became extremely antsy by 15. Where could she be? At 11:20 I called the company and explained the problem to Denise. She was concerned, but there was really nothing she could do. Yaron was home, but sleeping. I woke him up and sent him to bed with his dad with strict instructions to watch over him and not let him get up and fall (not that I had succeeded in keeping him safe). Yaron got out of bed and came to offer an empathetic hug before climbing into my side of the bed. I was tempted to throw in the towel and join the both of them; they appeared so peaceful, but took a deep breath instead and headed for Vanier.

Elizabeth arrived at noon. He excuse was that the bus had an accident and they had to wait for another bus to arrive. I suggested that perhaps she should have called me to let me know of the problem. She didn’t seem to understand what the problem was. I tried to emphasize the need for me to have some time with her to bring her up to speed on new instructions for caregiving, given his mobility problems and potential injury (what to look for as the day progressed), but she was adamant that she had no alternative, and after all, she was only a half hour late. I corrected her and explained that she is supposed to be here for 11:00, but she was under the impression that she is to start at 11:30 on Mondays.

I decided to eat the words I really wanted to use and confirm the time for the remainder of the week. I really have no time to make another change this week. I will see what I can do for January once I get the semester over with. December 12th is the last day of classes, so between Yaron and me, we’ll tag team from then on until I come up with Plan B. I do not teach again until late January, so I can be home more to tr out new scenarios. Perhaps Elizabeth can be trained, but maybe not. I want t try some hired supervision for the night hours, but I need to find another sleeping arrangement first. I cannot sleep with someone watching Gilly in my own room; it’s not happening, that’s for sure.

I really do not want to have to resort to restraints, but if Gilly continues to bypass the supports that are there for his safety I will have to consider how to ensure that he cannot do this. This is by far the most horrific thought I’ve had to consider yet; I’m not sure I can follow through, but his safety is at stake and it’s getting more dangerous by the day.

I know that he appears to be a lightweight, but dead weight is hard to lift. He is not able to help much, so it feels like I’m lifting a 50 kilo bag of sand. I won’t tell you what it’s doing to my back. I cannot keep this up much longer, so a solution is what I need.

I managed to hold my seminar, push some papers around and return home by 3:00, but it was not what I’d call a productive day (although I completed the grading of papers I set for myself as a weekend goal in bed this morning). I have a busy couple of weeks at work as the semester draws to a close; I hope tomorrow runs smoothly with Laverne arriving on time; I’m in no mood for further caregiver surprises.

We are about to have dinner; If nothing else, his appetite is hearty. I’m hoping for an ‘early to bed’ sort of night with no surprises. Yaron will help me barricade the exit and we’ll have to hope for the best. Although I try to remain awake and supervise, sleep overtakes me. It’s impossible to remain in my room next to him all the time when he sleeps and I’m awake because I have to accomplish tasks that take me to other parts of the house. We are discussing the alternatives for tonight, but so far no perfect solution. Gilly finds the conversation amusing; I am not amused!