One day at a time

If you’re dying to know the final verdict in terms of hospital or no hospital, scroll down to the bottom. If you can hang onto your hat, then take your time with the details in chronological order.

Yesterday was truly tag team Gilly care; Yaron picked up Tamara who came over to spend the late afternoon and early evening with her dad. I went to a movie with Tina, and loved every moment (not to mention devoured every kernel of popcorn. The time away allowed me the space and change I needed to regenerate (which is a relative term). I called the house on my way home to find out that Yaron went out to get hamburgers for the three of them, and they were enjoying their special time together.

Yaron does a fine job of taking care of his dad, but there’s something about having Tamara around in my absence that comforts me. She is a reflection of me in many ways; I suppose it’s all about role modeling. Now and again Gilly used to stay home alone for a couple of days with the children when they were small. This was more than fine in small doses, but I used to worry that he never served them vegetables (except French fries). They ate salty, fatty foods and loved every minute of it. They were none the worse for wear, but a steady diet of this sort of thing would never do (in my mind, anyway). I used to say, “If I leave for good, the children will land up with scurvy or something.” Well, Yaron and his dad do fine together these days in my absence, but when Tamara’s around, I know he’ll be given his medication and will certainly eat his vegetables (and protein, and so on…whatever I ask her to do, I know she’ll follow through on, and then some).

Yaron has his merits, unquestionably, so don’t get me wrong. Last night he offered to handle the bathroom runs during the night. Gilly awakens every two hours, gets up and begins to walk out of the room. I jump up and stand on guard and usually follow him to the bathroom, wait and ensure that he returns safely. Last night Yaron dashed to his father’s side as soon as he hit the hallway and sent me off to bed. I accepted the assistance with gratitude, and managed to fall back asleep each time, because I had a competent assistant watching over his dad with loving tenderness. What a beautiful sight in the wee hours of the morning; one I never imagined seeing.

The scene brought Robert Munsch’s book “Love you Forever” to mind; a gorgeous tale about a mother loving and caring for her son as he matures, and goes full circle with the son loving and caring for his mother. Reading the book to children never failed to bring tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat; it is the epitome of poignancy. Tamara bought it for me for mother’s day a few years back and I treasure her prolific inscription inside.

I called Equinox early in the morning to ask that Elizabeth come on Tuesdays from 8 to 2:00 (in addition to the other two days a week), since I feel Manuela is ill prepared to handle Gilly’s situation. I feel badly, but tomorrow will more than likely be Manuela’s last day, because I cannot afford to have both women on the same day. I hope Elizabeth can do some light housework while Gilly sleeps, and I plan to ask her kindly not to move my things around. It disturbs me terribly, especially when the rest of my life is so mixed up.

I awoke strangely refreshed and was able to get a few hours of school work accomplished before Veronica’s arrival. Imagine my surprise when Joy bounced in, right on time, instead. I asked what happened to Veronica, and she replied, “Who’s she?” I had not factored in the time required to give her the umpteen instructions she’d need, and Elizabeth threw out the notes I wrote to guide her through Gilly’s rituals last week, so I had no choice but to start fresh. What a drag; I went from being right on time (early in fact for the seminar, expecting to have lead time to get some more work done at the college) to dashing out frantically, hoping I’d get there in the nick of time (which I thankfully did).

I suspected that Veronica was unhappy; she doesn’t like Liylah, but someone could have told me ahead of time. Apparently, Joy is only available on Mondays, so she will not come tomorrow afternoon; a whole new person will show up at 2:00 for 3 hours and I will be in the middle of teaching a class at the time. I called the company that sends the care givers for the CSSS and asked Peggy (from Paraide) to have the new person call me this evening. I hope he / she does. Gilly is scheduled to be helped with bathing tomorrow afternoon…what can I say? The situation remains unsettled, it seems.

I called Dr. Kavan to report on Gilly’s condition, as he instructed me to do. I spoke to his secretary and explained that there is a very slight, marginal improvement overall since he was seen at the Jewish on Thursday afternoon. She hung up, relayed the message and called me back to say that Dr. Kavan suggests we continue with the steroid and stay at home for now. If his condition worsens, I’m to call the oncology department and speak to his primary nurse before bringing him in to the hospital.

I find this news to be encouraging. I hope we can care for him in his comfortable environment surrounded by people who love him. I may have to look into moving our bed downstairs (although I hope I will be able to relax and sleep there; it’s not my habit to unwind in this room and I’m a bit of an old dog when it comes to new tricks, but I may be left without a choice). We’ll see; I have to remind myself that we can only plan one day at a time.

It’s 7:00 P.M. and I’m still receiving smiles from my boyfriend from across the room. He’s lying on the couch as I attend to my work (and blog; my emotional outlet). I suppose it’s time to prepare dinner.