Out on a lim

Gilly had mask #2 made today at the Jewish. He now has an extra for anyone that needs a Hallowe'en costume.

I'm not sure if Sheryl was surprised, but I know I was when I arrived home to get the scoop. Sheryl is a special friend of ours who graciously offered to take Gilly to what I assured her would be a 20 minute appointment. In actuality, it took 3 hours. We were apparently misinformed. Sheryl, you're a lifelong friend and a gem. We love you.

When we went to the Montreal General last week, we did a lot of waiting, and no one spoke to us about anything. This time, I had Sheryl take my trusty journal, and she filled it with about 4 pages of information. After I consult with her on it (she's not home right now), I'll add the details to my next posting.

Gilly has been doing a bit of gardening, but bending makes it hard to see with his new prisms. He is persisitent, and refuses assistance, as per usual.

Tonight, he's going out on the town with Steven and the boys for Zel's 50th. They'll be chauffered in a limo, no less (excuse me!). So I am on my way to Susie and Joeys for Shabbat dinner and then it's off to the next play off game in Beaconsfield.

Shabbat Shalom

A chilling tail

It all started at 3:19 a.m. I awoke to a loud clapping sound, and realized it was Liylah's tail flapping insistently on the opened door of my bedroom. Now, we've only been living together for a week and a half or so, but something about Liylah's eyes told me this was not a normal visit, and it was high time to get up and investigate.

I left Gilly to his dreams and followed Liylah, who led me to the kitchen where I heard a weird noise. It sounded like water rushing behind the fridge. I peeked in on Yaron to see if perhaps he had decided to take a shower, because geographically that might have been a logical explanation. I found him sound asleep, so I slipped out quickly so as not to disturb his slumber.

I returned to the source of the noise and stood there, rather perplexed. I opened and closed the doors to both fridge and freezer, and nothing seemed to be amiss except for the odd sound. I returned to bed to ruminate; what should I do now? I hesitated to wake Gilly. Just then, he rolled over and asked what was the matter. He approached the kitchen and confidently informed me that it is just the motor that's gone on the fridge, and assured me he would attend to the problem in the morning.

A few hours later, we discussed who he would call to come and have a look at the situation. He said he had a number to call. You have to realize that we almost NEVER called a serviceman in our 24 years together. I advised him to call my mom and ask her to help look up refrigerator repair people, because I had to dash off to work and I didn't want him straining his eyes. He agreed, and that's how we left matters. In the past, he would have had the fridge open by 6 a.m. and fixed by 6:45 at the very latest. I felt that now familiar lump in my throat, but shook it off, knowing he'd solve the problem somehow, even if not by himself.

I called home to ask how things were going, and Gilly explained that he pulled out the fridge (I begged him not to do this early that morning, and suggested he ask his son to do this for him, but he assuredly replied, "It's not necessary"). Next, he told me that he opened up the back of it, and realized it was only the fan motor that was loose, and so he readjusted it and put it back together.

The fridge is now purring as softly as it was before this tail began. My hero! His magic hands are beginning to gain back their power.

Nothing else new to share today. Tomorrow, we may experience technical difficulties; the Internet is being switched from Gilly's office line (disconnected as of tomorrow) to our house line. Please don't worry if I do not post a new entry. I may be sore from the root canal I will have tomorrow, so I can use a night off. The next posting should appear on Friday.

Oh yes, for those following Yaron's hockey career, his team won 8-2 last night. Gilly was there to cheer them on.

Positive focus

I feel the need for a break today, so Gilly is stepping in as author. I will act as secretary, and also will provide a short editorial:

"The glasses make a big difference by letting me see. I can actually see straight, walk straighter and I feel better just wearing them. They make me stronger and I'm in better shape because of that. At first they felt very very weird, until my eyes got used to the idea of being corrected. It took a good 3 to 4 hours for my eye to get in line with the other eye. Once in a while I can still see the difference, feel the difference that I do have something there; that my eye is not corrected perfectly. Like I can see what you're writing much better. The walking up and down the steps is much better because they make my depth perception much better. I would not be able to fix your lock [he just fixed my bicycle lock] if I wouldn't have the corrections. It's a little fuzzy, but I could see it much better. So I think by tomorrow, things are going to be better. And if not, I'll call the eye doctor."

"Dr. Kavan's secreatry called and told me that they changed my appointment from the Montreal General to the Jewish General and I need to go and get a new mask done. And the reason is because they are overloaded with patients and they won't be able to put me in the quickest time, so Dr. Kavan said that they would like me to be in a quicker response, therefore I should be going to the Jewish General to have my treatment done sooner. Because of that, I need to be fitted with a new mask and I'm going on Friday, March 31st to have a new mask fitted onto me. And unfortunately my wife will not be able to come and be with me because she's got to do her work. Somebody's got to work in this house. And they said it's going to take about a week for them to start me on my treatment, so we're looking at around the 6th or 7th."

"Liylah and I are getting to be the best buddies in the world and today she had a treat; a Schwager special; soup made for her and she loved every second of it. But she wasn't stupid. She drank the soup first and left most of the food as a Schwager dog would do. She's reacting very well to her new location and life and she's adapting very well to the laziness of this particular writer. She sheds an awful lot [he chuckles and I groan] but we're getting used to it [he is. I'm still sort of grossed out!]."

"I'm looking forward to my treatment and hopefully the sooner the better. I guess I'll be in touch with you when I start the treatment. i feel great. I feel super. I feel ready for it. I feel like there's nothing that could stop me, and nothing will stop me. So let's all be positive and thanks to everybody for praying for me, and they know who they are. Thanks again. Love Gilly."

So there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. What a guy, my Gilly. Now you can understand why I instantaneously decided I wanted nothing more than to marry him. His positive, trusting nature makes the world a better place.

When I called Gilly at noon, he said he was feeling better. I asked, "Better than what?" (thinking he had had a rough morning). Then I guessed; "Oh, you have your new glasses?!?" "Yes," he replied, and went on to explain that they were not what he expected. I told him it may take some getting used to; he agreed.

I got off the phone and had myself a good cry. He was banking on these glasses to make a huge difference; to give him his life back! I called home a couple of hours later, and he sounded drowsy; I probably woke him. He has been resting his eyes in the afternoon of late, and falling asleep due to the strain, so I was saddened (crushed, in fact) to hear him sounding fatigued. I suggested he catch some shut eye, so as to be able to go to Yaron's game tonight.

I arrived home at five and was pleasantly surprised to find Gilly wide awake, full of beans, with stories to tell (which is why I had him dictate his tale to all of you. These days, having a conversation with him can be like pulling teeth; he reserves his energy for new callers, and he brightens up for every one of them).

So the glasses do make a difference. He is strutting about like a proud peacock; dialing the phone, puttering in the garden, fixing gismos, and basically being Gilly, the guy who never rests. Life is good!!

The sun will come out tomorrow

It was back to the old grind for me today, and a long day it was at that. Never thought I'd experience separation anxiety at 49 years old. I called Gilly periodically to check on his doings, and it seemed that he and Liylah were holding down the fort without incident. I arrived home to Yaron speeding down the block, Liylah sprinting beside him at break neck speed. What a sight! Gilly was manning the Bar-B-Q as I entered our humble abode; a welcoming sight to behold.

Gilly and Jerry left the glasses at the Opticien today so the prisms could be affixed to the lens. We have our fingers crossed ever so tightly for tomorrow. It's been a painfully long wait. Gilly has to concentrate very hard to see and to move around safely in his environment. It tires him greatly.

We made our decision, as most of you avid blog readers know. Gilly will be followed by the MNI, with Dr. Souhami as his radio-oncologist and Dr. Kavan as the medical oncologist. This means that the MRI Gilly was to have 8 weeks after the biopsy is a non-issue at this point. We are not waiting, as Dr. Mohr originally suggested, to chart the growth. Instead, Gilly will begin treatment as soon as they contact us. This could be anytime now, but we have not been given a starting date as of yet. He will more than likely have MRI's and CT scans aplenty, but we do not know the schedule of these tests yet.

We still recieve calls from people suggesting we look into alternatives. We are urged to contact the best of the best in the world. Thus far I have taken the leads, but the exercize has become more emotionally draining than hopeful. We have consulted MANY related professionals. Some friends and family and friends of the family of the friends may think I seem ungrateful for the information they wish to share. This is far from the truth, however I have been strongly advised to accept the situation now and build trust in the team we have chosen to handle Gilly's case. We have done our homework rather diligently. Quality of life, remember? This is key, and I have never lost sight of this advice. The treadmill has to slow down, though, or I'll surely fall off.

My heart pounds heavily everytime I am asked to contact neighbours, cousins, colleagues... who themselves have had brain tumours. I receive countless messages through friends and family from people who were told their tumours were inoperable, yet they found someone to operate, and now they are just fine. All they want is for me to call them. My pat response: Please just send the name of the doctor, and perhaps we can follow-up.

Gilly's tumour is in his brain stem. It has been explained to us repeatedly that this is the reason it is inoperable and ungammaknifable. It makes sense and we've accepted this, and so it is time to move on. If a reputable doctor tells us there's something that can be done other than the options we have been presented with, well then super! But I am not emotionally up to going through the whole story (theirs and ours) only to discover that the tumour was a whole other type and in a very different spot.

If today's entry sounds a bit glum, well I suppose I must have the Monday Blues. I think I'll go downstairs and catch a glimpse of my main squeeze, cozy in his favourite chair, fast asleep. Just eyeing him in such a comfortable pose ought to cheer me up. Tomorrow will be a shorter day, a brighter day, topped off with another playoff game. I think the grass will be that much greener too.

New kids on the blog

Photography: John Tunis (top), Justin Tunis (bottom); both exclusives to the Gilly Update Blog.
Blog Title: Grandma Shirley

Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Kyle and Justin brought their dad, John, over to spend the day with us. Together, we enjoyed a hearty breakfast. Soon other Blauer family members started to arrive from as far away as Pierrefonds. It gave us all, as Susie says, a farganigen feeling (again, spell check just doesn't cooperate).

Breakfast made its way to lunch. What a delicious spread! The boys played with magnets (a favourite past time at our house), and Justin tried his hand at digital photography to capture one of his creations (please see above; screws compliments of Gilly). Gilly snoozed the late afternoon away while the rest of us took full advantage of the brisk spring weather.

We are now on our way to Aviyam & Co.'s for dinner.

Dog day afternoon

Liylah had a real workout today. Yaron took her roller blading, and she returned utterly spent. She'll have to work on getting into shape if she is to keep up with her new found brother.

Gilly did some spring cleaning today & enjoyed visits from friends and family. We went out to dinner with our special friends. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Truck stop

Sorry to keep you waiting, but hockey supersedes blogging. Yaron's team won
6 - 0 tonight; first play-off game. Not a bad start. As usual, the hockey parents gave Gilly a warm welcome. He reveled in the opportunity to yack it up in Hebrew, and cheered with gusto. It was a rough game (Yaron was knocked down and punched by an angry player; this is why hockey is not MY favourite spectator sport), but it meant a lot to be there.

Dr. Amdursky gave Gilly his first shot of B12 today. Apparently, there could be any number of reasons as to why Gilly is not absorbing B12, but the doctor believes this is not an opportune time to conduct an investigation. Many tests would have to be administered, and there is a much more pressing matter at hand that needs to be dealt with. When life settles down some, he plans to probe further.

I asked him what he advises in terms of the options we have before us: chemo+radiation treatment versus radiation alone versus 'wait and see.' He admits that this is not his specialty, however, based on his own common sense, if he himself were faced with these choices, he'd go with chemo+radiation.

Gilly is currently unable to drive. "The anti-seizure medication," according to the neurosurgical nurse, "says it all." The double vision doesn't help either, as you may well imagine. We returned Gilly's Dodge Dakota truck today, 3 months shy of a 4 or 5 year lease. Gilly had ordered an enormous new Ram, but we cancelled it at my insistence the day before the MRI. Timing is everything; the options he ordered were not on the truck that arrived, and so Gilly had sent it back and was awaiting his dream truck. It was a very difficult day; Gilly without a truck is like Yaron without hockey. I hope he thumbs his nose at me one day soon and says, "I told you so," as he drives off in the vehicle of his choice (with doctor's permission of course).

We supped with Fred at his home this evening before heading off to the game. Grandma Shirley catered a delicious Shabbat dinner. I was relieved to see my brother looking so healthy. Amazing what the right type and level of meds will do for a person!

The Mask

"The important part of today is that I got my mask and my CT scan," Gilly reports.

We arrived, fasting, at 8:00 a.m. at the Montreal General for a blood test. We do everything together these days! We waited 2 hours for the results (to determine whether Gilly's kidneys could tolerate the dye they would inject). Gilly shloofed in the Lazy Boy, and I read my newest Young Children's magazine, both of us ice cold. At 10:30 the CT scan was done and the mask was built (watch out Jim Carrey; Gilly's ready to star in the next sequel).

Liylah waited patiently at home, and did not even partake in dessert this time (she found some chocolates in Yaron's room yesterday while we were at the MNI, and ended up locking herself in there while we were gone. She learned her lesson. Well, maybe she didn't, but we sure did. I think the Israeli Lila is right; she is training her new family quite effectively).

We received a call from Dr. Sultanem (from the Jewish) informing us that Gilly is not eligible for the study. I suspect that this is the final word on the matter. We intend to go ahead with the treatment regardless.

Gradually, yet steadily, our week filled up with doctors appointments, until they marked every day. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this sort of life. I suppose no one is prepared for it. Life has changed dramatically for us as a family. Fortunately, we have each other; our bond has strengthened, or so it seems. I believe that the effort it takes to overcome obstacles actually serves to strengthen us, as people. I have shared this with yaron on many occasions when he was disappointed at being cut from a team. My understanding has blossomed; I see that family relationships and friendships tend to prosper when people join one another in facing life's potentially devastating challenges.

Tomorrow, Gilly will receive an injection of B12, and we will make our final decision as to whether or not to head up north for an abbreviated spring break.
We hear that John and the boys will visit no matter where we are. Good thing, because Liylah is anxious to meet Whistler. Whistlers cannot wait to tell her where all the juicy chipmunks hang out.

It's stressful for our friends and family who live at a distance; they cannot fully experience Gilly's grin. Seeing a blog photo just doesn't cut it. It warms my heart to be in his presence. When I go to work or even to the supermarket, my mind and soul remain at home. He is truly an inspiration, so I can only begin to appreciate what it might be like for far off friends and family. Many claim to feel a sense of relief when they see him or speak to him; he sends off positive vibes. Throughout our marriage, he has assured me that everything will turn out just fine; "Don't worry," he'd say. I remained skeptical on many occasions, but he has never disappointed me yet.

One more thing: My Birch Point advisors (Shelley and Judy) have helped me with my spelling. The word is spelled "medulla."

New leash on life

Who do you want to hear about first; Gilly or Liylah? We'll go in alphabetical order, alright?

We met Dr. Kavan, the medical oncologist today. He is quite adamant about the need to treat the tumour aggressively (Judith warned us of this early on, so we expected this perspective). He informed us that it is still not certain that Gilly is eligible for the study, but he says it doesn't matter; it is what Gilly needs. He is still working on presenting the case. He says he will 'lie a little; make it less clear' (to be honest, I'm not sure if he meant lie to the health insurance company or to those deciding on who may participate in the study).

One scary aspect of the information is the cost. If he is on-study, it is free. If not, the Temodal is frightfully expensive. Luckily, I checked with my health insurance company this afternoon and PHEW, we are covered regardless.

I keep getting conflicting information on this; Dr. Kavan claims that the tumour is not cancerous. He said that this doesn't matter, though, because it behaves as if it is. He believes that aggressive treatment is necessary: "You need to win the battle. Otherwise you are dead." Gilly said he appreciates the honesty. I gasped internally.

The treatment he urges us to sign up for is called Temozolomide-Based Chemoradiotherapy Regimen. The chemo will enhance the efficacy of the cancer (is that accurate?). It sensitizes the tumour cells to radiation. He pointed out that if you miss the opportunity (do the radiation without the chemo), you cannot go back; no second chances. He believes that the study will inevitably prove that Temodal is helpful, but we have no time to wait. He declared the drug to be safe, non-toxic, and unlikely to do harm.

He told Gilly that it is important to remain positive, and not read statistics. He said, "You are 1; the statistics are about 'persons.' He prescribed sports, good food and a healthy lifestyle to go along with the upbeat attitude (which Gilly happens to have). Gilly assured him that he has trouble not being active, so he intends to continue along this path.

I asked if the Montreal General is better or the same as the Jewish (we have to decide between the hospitals, although Dr. kavan and Dr. Mohr will follow Gilly regardless). Both Dr. Souhami and Dr. Sultanem are competent, but I wondered about technology and services in the hospitals and how they might differ. Dr. Kavan was hesitant at first to make his choice clear, but after a couple of minutes he openly admitted that Gilly would be better off having treatment at the General, since he will be followed at the MNI in that case. "That is the best brain hospital." He acknowledged that the Jewish is best in terms of oncology, but, much to Dr. Mohr's chagrin (he claims), the MNI is his preference.

We have another appointment with Dr. Kavan in 2 weeks. Gilly is keen on trying the treatment mentioned above rather than waiting and doing nothing. We are still ruminating (spell check doesn't like the word, but I do). We have yet to receive opinions from key medical figures. We will go with Dr. Souhami at the MNI regardless.

Tomorrow Gilly has a blood test scheduled for 8:00 a.m. at the General, followed 2 hours later with a CT scan. Apparently, the mask for radiation will be prepared at that time. I'm not totally clear on that, because it is still a mystery to me.

I'm on spring break this week, and so far it has been well spent. I have been able to accompany Gilly to every appointment, and have documented the information accordingly. These are key meetings where information is delivered and decisions hinge upon these technical details. So we haven't had a chance to get to Birch Point yet, but we have done a lot of leg work!

Now it's Liylah's turn: She loves her walks around the block with Gilly and Yaron. She behaves well on her new retractable leash. Grandma Shirley claims to love her. What could be bad?

Release from prism

Liylah was left alone today for the first time, and she did not disturb anything in the house. She loves her new doggie bed, and behaved like a real lady at the vet. She sleeps on Yaron's bed at night, and by Gilly's side during the day. She has already made a new friend on the street (Buddy).

Dr. Wise lives up to his name! What an intelligent, witty and humane individual. He has a really cool office, and a friendly demeanor. Gilly felt very much at home (except for the opera in the background; he's more of Eagles fan, let's say).

Upon examination, he established that Gilly would need 2 prisms for his left eye. Actually, I'm not sure if it is #2 prism, or 2 prisms, but whatever it is, Gilly claimed he could see properly. The opticien will now stick the prisms onto Gilly's left lens as a temporary solution. Presto!! Problem solved.

Once treatment is over, adjustments can be made and the lens will be placed into his glass frames permanently. We zipped over to fill the prescription as soon as we left the doctor's office.

Gilly has all the symptoms of a tumour in his brain stem. Dr. Wise demonstrated Gilly's 'convergent nystagmus' (sorry, about the potentially inaccurate spelling; too long a day). When he looks up, his eyes go cross-eyed (layman's explanation). No wonder he was so dizzy everytime he looked upwards.

He also has what is called a 'right skewed deviation.' One eye is higher than the other. This is typical of someone with a tumour in the mid-brain. He said it is quite obvious that there is something going on in the 'pons' and 'madala' (didn't get the spelling on this new term either; I accept all clarification points made, so if you know it, show it!).

Dr. Wise will see Gilly once a month to monitor his progress. We could not be happier with the results of today's visit.

I asked Dr. Wise why the other three eye doctors failed to detect Gilly's tumour. He explained that he is a neuro-opthamologist, and therefore is trained to identify conditions of this nature. Lucky Susie!

6 of one, half a dozen of the other

Today's visit to the Jewish was informative; we learn new facts by the day, or see them from a different angle in any case. We were greeted by Dr. Schwartz who examined Gilly. He reiterated what we've heard repeatedly, but added new vocabulary to my list; The tumour is inoperable because it reaches into the pons (a very important part of the brain). Standard radiation has not been proven to prolong life, but it may control the tumour to some degree. He said that grade II is slow growing, and does not tend to 'melt away' as a result of radiation treatment.

The term 'pons' was introduced as because it explains why Gilly would not be a candidate for the study, which involves radiation and Temodal. I questioned this, because Dr. Souhami had said that Gilly was eligible to take part in the research study. Dr. Schwartz explained that it is the location that excludes him; apparently this is evident in the fine print he just read.

He completed his examination and left the room to consult with Dr. Sultanem, the radio-oncologist. Dr. Sultanem did some homework before making his entrance. He called Dr. Souhmai at the MNI and will now contact Dr. Fisher (the doctor in charge of the study who is located in Philadelphia) to see if he will agree to waive the slight deviance (the tumour is extending a little bit into the pons) and allow Gilly to be 'on-study' (yet another new term). In this way, Gilly will be followed closely, and this is desirable.

Tomorrow, Dr. Kavan will see Gilly at the MNI (as was previously arranged), and by then he may know if Gilly can participate. He will be the medical oncologist no matter what, whereas we would need to make a decision between Dr. Souhami (which will send Gilly to treatment at the Montreal General) and Dr. Sultanem (which would send Gilly to the Jewish instead). The treatment would be identical. Both doctors are personable, and seem competent. The Jewish is closer to home, so for the 6 weeks of radiation therapy (5 days a week for 15 minutes each session) it may be more convenient. We'll have to make 100% sure that the technology they use is of equal quality.

We're off to get Liylah (Yaron favours this spelling??? We are trying it out for a day or so) her Cote St. Luc license and see if the vet can give her whatever she needs to make a country visit safe. She loves her new doggie bed, bowls and leash, and behaved very well while we were gone.

Next stop: Dr. wise at 3:15. Wish us luck that he can help Gilly to see better!

Give the Chain a Tug

Tamara dashed over after work today to meet her new sister. In no time at all, they became fast friends. It is hard not to fall for this lovable, hairy creature. She smothers everyone she meets with love and affection.

Gilly walked her by himself last night and he held the leash on his own today on a few occasions. He declared himself ready and able to handle her independently. However, the last trip around the block this afternoon was a bit tense. She heard some birds and dashed into the bushes to investigate. Tamara was there at the time, and worried about Gilly falling. He himself admitted that she pulls just a bit too hard at times. We'll have to see how things go. I am anxious for the ground to thaw so Yaron can build a fence to allow her to roam freely around the backyard during the day. Gilly plans to help with the construction.

Lila (I think the kids have decided to shorten her name) is an amazing dog; so gentle. I stop to pet her whenever we cross paths, and even call her over now and again for a cuddle. Did I say that? Randee can attest to this. I wouldn't have believed it myself.

Our new dog is a symbol for hope and comfort. She stimulates Gilly's natural motivation to "give the chain a tug." [This expression stems from a story told by Richard Lavoie at a workshop on Learning Disabilities. I wrote an article about it for the LDAQ newsletter. I quote myself here to explain the expression: He emphasized that children who feel helpless need to be encouraged to “give the chain a tug” (a metaphor related to a story he told to illustrate how ‘learned helplessness’ develops: An elephant as a baby is tied to a post in the zoo, and tugs and tugs to free himself. Eventually the elephant stops: The situation is perceived as hopeless. Even as a full grown elephant, who could easily break free, he walk circles around it, not attempting to use his ample strength to pull it out). ]

She sticks to Gilly like glue, and he is truly in his glory. As Noam says, "Now this is a real dog."

We received a call from the MNI today, and an appointment to see Dr. Kavan, the radio-oncologist who works with Dr. Souhami has been arranged for Wednesday. This will follow tomorrow's appointment with the radio-oncologist at the Jewish. Then I guess we'll compare notes.

I plan to call Dr. Wise's office first thing in the mnorning to try to arrange for him to see about prisms for Gilly's glasses. I left a message already, but it doesn't hurt to call. Anything we can do to improve Gilly's eyesight is well worth pursuing; it's amazing how much of daily life depends on sight.

Our family physician, Dr. Amdursky returned today and called to get the scoop; I called the day the shunt was to be installed, and then he left town for a few weeks vacation. I filled him in, concluding with the information from the Tropical Disease specialist on Vitamin B12 and Folate deficiencies. He suggested that Gilly come in and get an injection rather than take a pill by mouth everyday. We will follow up on this as soon as possible.

Man and dog have settled down for a snooze. Our bellies are full of delicious offerings (thanks to so many who feel the need to feed us; I'm not sure which is more full; our hearts or our freezer!) A demain.

Welcome Dalilah!!

Gilly is a proud owner of a new dog! We have many visitors in the house right now, but I wanted to get the news out right away.

This is Gilly's proudest moment. Dalilah is a Dalmation / Lab mix. She is sweet and gentle, and Gilly fell in love with her almost as quickly as he fell in love with me. Yaron is rather smitten himself. Tamara hasn't had the pleasure, but she'll be here tomorrow after work to get her fix. They didn't get the dog loving gene from me.

Since Gilly was first diagnosed, I have been depriving myself of bread; sort of my way of sacrificing something for Gilly's pain (not that he shows it much, but it must be there, deep down somewhere within. He's had to give up so much). Now that we have a dog, I am back to bread, because having another dog is my ultimate sacrifice. I used to be scared of dogs, even though Butterscotch was with us for 16 years or so. I loved her, but I'm not a dog lover. She was a wedding gift (that crazy Steven and his side kick cousin, David, at it again), so I kind of grew up with her. This dog is truly Gilly's dog; his companion to make the long hours he will be at home that much shorter due to the pleasure she'll bring.

Gilly is able to walk her himself, although we are accompanying him for now just to be sure. The strength within Gilly came rushing forth as soon as he took the leash. Talk about a great idea!!!!! We're simply delighted.

So this is the biggest news thus far since the MRI on February 22nd or so.

Our special Passover guests from the land of milk and honey will be Sema and Gittit. We have lots to look forward to. At least we know that they are dog lovers, so they'll fit right in.

Lila Tov, y'all

Tests of Strength

Gilly doesn't mind if I veer off on a bit of a tangent this evening, since he's doing rather well, and enjoying some alone and quiet time with Gad. He has always been one to share the spotlight:

My brother Fred took center stage yesterday afternoon when he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. My posting was brief last night, because I had mouths to feed, and a brother to visit. Thankfully, he is now stable, but it was a harrowing experience for us all. He is in emergency at the Lakeshore for now, all hooked up and medicated. I just returned from visiting him, and he looks much better than he did last night. Please join me in wishing him a speedy recovery.

You just never know when life will get in the way of living. I'm learning the value of investing positive energy into each and every day, using all the strength I am able to muster up. I force myself to remember that there's always someone, somewhere who is in worse trouble. So I smile, sing (this is VERY important) and try my best to remain connected to friends and family. This blog has allowed me to candidly express myself and, in doing so, the lines of communication have lengthened, widened and formed strong, reliable knots as 'commenters' communicate with us as well as with one another.

Back to the man of the hour: It was exciting to arrive home this week and find paintings adorning the living room walls. Gilly did this himself, one painting a day for 2 days. I noticed the hammer immediately; what a rush! I used to complain about hammers and screwdrivers left all over the house. Never again!

This morning I worried when Gilly mentioned a headache; a first since the shunt was installed (seems like more of a plumbing than a medical term, but it sounds right). I offered Tylenol and he begrudgingly took it, claiming he hates taking pills. I asked him some time later how his headache was. He said, "Better, but I feel woozy." I asked a few times and the answer was inconsistent. Not only that, his eyelids seemed puffy. I called the staff nurse (as was suggested to me when we left the hospital; if anything seems 'different', call and get an opinion). We were advised to go to emergency, but Gilly refused, which was no surprise to me.

I have my trump cards well placed; I called Shelley and Morris, about to leave the country for a final visit to our home before heading back to Toronto. Maurice spoke to Gilly on the phone, and said he'd check him in an hour's time, but not to worry, because all seems fine. Maurice arrived and went over the list of concerns regarding the shunt with us. He explained why Gilly did not seem to be in any distress. So one trip to the hospital was avoided (that's 2 and counting!). Many thanks to the Levitan / Veinish clan for their ongoing medical support. We're so fortunate to have our own personal informed advisors. Sure cuts the number of waiting room visits, and we feel loved to boot!

Gad leaves tomorrow at 6:45 a.m., maple syrup in hand, so I best clean up and get some sleep. It's been an amazing couple of days. Gilly soaked up every moment. I gained some quality time with my brother-in-law (which is rare; we live so far from one another), and a DVD burner hook up (I now have my wedding video on DVD; Gad was about 12 years old at the time). We'll miss him, that's for certain.

Shabbat Shalom

We're about to sit down to Shabbat dinner with our special guest from the Holy Land. Gad, Steven and Gilly went to Wilensky's straight from the airport to pick up specials for Steven's girls (the kids gulped dwon the ones he bought last night). They moved onto Schwartz's for lunch. Now Gad is trying to keep his eyes open for just a tad longer.

I called Dr. Wise's office today, but he's out of town until Wednesday. We were contacted by the Jewish General Hospital by the radio oncologist (Dr. Sultanem) for an appointment. Dr. Mohr apparently arranged this, unbeknwonst to us. So we'll see him and hear what he has to say on Tuesday morning at 10:00.

Lots going on, so please excuse my brevity this evening.

=[pppppppppppppp ppppppppp;;;;;;;;;; 000000111111111111111111111 11111111 1111111111111111111111 111111111111 111111111 11111111-0 pdssssssssssssssss

tHE TITLE OF THIS bLOG WAS WRITTEN BY kARMA AS SHE MARCHED ACROSS MY KEYBOARD. sHE SEEMS TO ENJOY CAP LOCK TOO!!!

I have a favour to ask of my reading audience:

Gad will be here for a very brief period, so it is better to call first before heading over here this weekend (which I actually prefer all the time, but especially this weekend).

I am being selfish on Gilly's behalf. Normally, I do not consider myself selfish, but I've had to learn some new behaviours as headmaster of, what Gilly terms, this 'episode.' Thankfully, assertiveness is something I was born with, right mom? Anyhow, back to my request...Although he does LOVE visits, sometimes it is simply too much for him. Following crossed conversations is an arduous task; Processing incoming stimuli is tough. It is most conducive to have only a few people at once.

We know that many of you Rivelis clan members would love to see Gad, but let's do Gilly a service by allowing him to control the number of people he can handle. That way he can absorb all the messages Gad sends his way.

"Very good," says Gilly (I read it out loud to see if I represented his wishes properly).

To treat or not to treat; that is the question?????

Dr. Mohr greeted us this morning with a smile, yet he delivered barely a glimmer of 'new' information. It seems that, through this process, I have developed the tendency to lunge towards anything that provides us with a different perspective. I suppose it has something to do with needing material for the blog. Gotta keep my readers satisfied.

So here's the old and the new of it: Gilly's tumour is still presenting itself as: WHO grade II astrocytoma (as it states on the pathology report, which we now have in our hot little hands). It is considered a relatively rare condition, and is described as 'diffused.' This characteristic, coupled with its size, renders it impossible to treat with gamma knives (a second opinion on this matter). Add the location (brain stem) to the mix, and you have the reason for its inoperability (I sometimes make up my own words).

Dr. Mohr still hesitates to treat the tumour, because he feels there's a price to pay with treatment (side effects), and the "history of the disease" is unknown. He stated that he sees 1 case of this every 2 or 3 years; It is not a standard case. Treatment (radiation and / or chemo) may not be advantageous in the long run. He plans to submit the information on Gilly's case for a team discussion. Dr. Sutanem (the radiation specialist) will make recommendations. He still wishes to have that MRI 8 weeks after the biopsy and compare the findings to judge the growth pattern.

He is concerned that we do not make Gilly sicker with medication, and assured us that he has several patients with the same condition that he follows closely. With or without treatment, the symptoms Gilly is experiencing may not change. He said that treatment could have a positive effect at a level of 10%, yet side effects could reach a level of 30% (I wish I had written EXACTLY what he said here, because I'm not sure this is clear to you folks; Suffice it to say that it could do more harm than good, which is what Dr. Mohr has said from the beginning). They really have no way of knowing, he claims, and so this is why he feels it's best to be cautious and not jump to treat with 'poisons.' He acknowledges that Temodal is not very toxic (in relative terms) but still there are side effects that bear considering.

He mentioned the same drug (Temodal). I was taken aback when he stopped to spell it for me; nonchalantly tolerating my habit of documenting his every word (well, maybe every second word; for sure the foreign ones, so I could grill Evan or Shelley or Maurice..Later about the meaning of the terminology later on).

We asked about Gilly's vision, because this symptom plagues him terribly. He suggests we see an opthamologist (spell check doesn't give me a suggestion, but refuses to accept any of my versions) his friend Dr. Jack Wise, to look into (no pun intended) glasses with prisms. We will call for an appointment tomorrow morning.

He questioned Gilly about his word finding problem, and suggested that Gilly rehearse what he wants to say, and to remain calm and try not to get frustrated. Actually, his wise little girl (well she'll always be that to him) told him to do this a couple of weeks ago. She had read about this strategy (or heard of it) and tried to teach her dad the trick. Didn't last long. Gilly is known for his spontaneity.

Gilly shared his concern about his entire right side of his body; "It just doesn't work properly." Dr. Mohr explained that all these symptoms stem from the placement of the tumour and it is impossible to predict if Gilly will feel any improvement over time. I plan to look into occupational therapy for the balance and coordination problems, because Dr. Mohr agreed that it could possibly help.

Herr Doctor was actually quite charming today, I must admit. He offered words of wisdom using analogies and metaphors. He advised Gilly to work on adapting to his new situation, since no matter what happens there is no guarantee that his symptoms will be alleviated. He admits that it's easy to tell someone to deal with this, but not so simple to do so from Gilly's vantage point.

He voiced what our motto has been from the start (Gilly as our model):

Always think of what could be worse. There are worse tumours to be had, and there's hope for the future. He told Gilly to climb the ladder and work towards reaching that blue sky above. Gilly assured him that he is a positive thinker, and he honestly believes in the best case scenario as being his fate.

I left feeling relieved that he didn't have anything worse to report (a worry that kept me awake for nights), and less pressured to worry about beginning treatment yesterday. We have a few weeks to decide if Gilly ought to take part in the study or wait and watch vigilantly for microscopic changes.

Steven, Gilly's special crazy cousin is in town, and Gad is on his way for the weekend, so we're working on treasuring special moments together and having good clean fun (hard when Steven's in town; they've already been to Wilensky's Wellensky's...Whatever; spell check couldn't locate it. Lafleur's is next).

We are now bent on entering a new phase; building fresh avenues of hope. We will take every opportunity to enjoy the little (and big) things that life has set out for us on our collective Blauer / Schwager platter.

Cathy and I have a running phrase that we use, both of us with our mothers in mind: "Life could be beautiful." That's the direction we're going in. A few days in Birch Point next week (I'm on spring break; yahoo!!!) oughta set us on the right path; nothing more beautiful in our view.

Oh yes, one more thing: We're looking into getting a dog that will be Gilly's companion. We will adopt a mature dog already trained (hopefully one that doesn't shed, but in this case I'm willing to go out on a limb). Steven and Gilly went to the SPCA today to have a look, but Gilly had to leave. He wanted to take them all home! This is another one of my missions (one that I may be sorry for one day, but I think I need to take the chance); to find a calm, mid-sized dog that will not knock Gilly over with his / her exuberance. Yaron is more than keen on the idea, but Karma the cat is indifferent.

Details, details, and the phone doesn't stop as I try to write them

Our trip to the MNI (Mtl. Neurological Institute) was fruitful. We arrived at 1:00 and were seen at 2:50, but it was well worth the wait. Dr. Hauerstock greeted us (a resident perhaps) and asked many questions. He did a brief examination and informed us that radiotherapy is usually in order for this type of tumour. He excused himself, and returned with Dr. Luis (spelled it wrong yesterday, I believe) Souhami in tow.

Dr. Souhami explained, quite patiently I might add, that tumours of this nature will grow. The question that cannot be answered is how fast. Radiotherapy will keep it under control for a longer period.

I was relieved when I noticed that this guy was not in any way perturbed by me writing down his every word. Dr. Mohr tends to get ticked off every time we started to write down what he said, and this riled me up, and infuriated Tamara to no end. I feel so much more secure in this doctor's hands, simply because he allowed me to play secretary, seemingly understands why I feel the need to do so, and encouraged us to ask as many questions as come to mind.

To continue, he shared information about a study recently done on patients with grade 4 of this type of tumour (Gilly's is probably - not 100% confirmed until we have that darn pathology report in hand - grade 2) whereby they used radiotherapy plus chemo(a drug called temodal). The combination proved successful.

The measure of 'successful' is still a scary number (he said more than 1/2 - he rephrased this to estimate approximately 60% remained alive for more than 5 years). But this is still based on grade 4.

They are currently doing a study on grade 2 with the same combo, and he stated that Gilly is eligible (more than likely. Again, depending on the final pathology report which we hope to abscond with tomorrow after our meeting with Dr. Mohr; everyone and his brother is waiting for the report!!!). The drug would be free of charge in this case, which is important to consider, because it is very costly otherwise.

So if we go with this option, Gilly would receive radiation at the Montreal General (that is where the machines are located). He would be followed by Dr. Souhami and the neuro oncologist (sorry if it's one word; gotta check if they ask me to write for E.R.). Gilly would receive radiation and a pill (temodal) for six weeks, and then only the pill (stepped up a notch or 2 in strength) for a year; 5 days in a row on, then 3 weeks off. There would be a four week waiting period between the 6 weeks of radiation and the 5 days on and 3 weeks off of the chemo.

Side effects of the chemo would be nausea and blood will need to be taken weekly to watch blood counts closely. The radiation would result in fatigue and hair loss. As a child, I always said, "Maybe I'll never die. I could be the first person to live forever. Who knows? Maybe no one has done it yet, and that's why we think all people die someday." Well, maybe Gilly will not experience discomforts. I know it's probably what you'd call a a pipe dream, but I like to think that anything is possible.

We have been sent some interesting information about Gamma Beams (Knives) by Gilly's cousin, Howard. Joey actually read about this early on in this real life drama and mentioned it to Evan. We asked Dr. Souhami about this, and he said the tumour is too large.

Jerry received a call from Aviyam today telling him that their cousin Jack, an expert in this field from White Plains (New York, I guess) feels that although he agrees with Dr. Souhami's treatment plan, Gamma Knives would be a better option.

We received yet another call this evening from Sam (Uncle Leo's son) who is a Head and Neck specialist at Weill Cornell Medical Center. He deals with tumours pressing on the brain rather than those in the brain. He consulted with the Chairman of the Dept. of Neurosurgery at Sloan Kettering in New York (the mothership in this domain, as Sam put it), and was told that neither treatment would be curative; only palliation (could be 2 l's). In other words, there is no cure, but treatments could be used to ease the discomfort and arrest or slow growth down.

Sam suggests we consider quality of life issues in making our decision. The demands of treatments need to be weighed.

He explained that gamma knives may or may not be an option, again due to the size of the lesion. He went on to provide a clearer picture of this mysterious sounding, high tech treatment. Radiation, he explained, is directed towards a zone, whereas the gamma knife is very specific. There would be one session as opposed to many, and the treatment is easy and well tolerated. We will continue looking into this option. Howard informed us that Toronto Western Hospital operates the newest of the 3 gamma knives in Canada.

Sam assures us that there is a strong argument for treating and also one for leaving things as is, again back to the quality of life issue in terms of demands of treatment.

He assured us that Montreal is "relatively up to date" in this area, according to the doctor he consulted with, but suggests we visit Sloan Kettering if we feel the need for another opinion.

Once everyone actually has the pathology report, we hope that the answers will begin to be more unanimous and less anonymous; well you know what I mean. We need more specifics, and we hope tomorrow will bring better information to our doorstep.

Let the appointments begin!

I was at work all day today (until 9:00 P.M.) so I cannot really report on much of Gilly's day. I spoke to him many times and he insisted he was doing "great." His telephone voice is similar to what it was before this story began. I find that rather interesting, since when I am physically with him, things seem so different. He's much more reserved these days.

We received a call today informing us that Gilly is scheduled to be seen at 1:30 P.M. tomorrow at the neurological clinic located at the Montreal Neurological Institute. We have an appointment with Dr. Lewis Souhami (a radiotherapist) and Peter Kavan (an oncologist) to discuss Gilly's situation. We will take their suggestions into consideration, along with Dr. Mohr's (our appointment with Dr. Mohr is for Thursday). It's all very scary. Decisions will have to be made as to which protocol would be best. One thing is for sure; we will not make any decisions lightly.

More on Mohr

Gilly was not able to have his calves checked at our doctor's office today. Our physician's replacement (until later in March) says he cannot do this test in his office. Gilly refused to go to emergency, and said they felt fine. We debated for quite a while, but the man won, simply because I had to get to work and couldn't fight any longer! I turned to him a moment ago and asked, "How are your calves now?" He said, "Perfect. My balance is s--t, but my calves are perfect." Incorrigible, sometimes! Reminds me of my dad.

I asked that Jerry and Gilly call Dr. Mohr's office today to ask (for a second time) to have the reports sent to us (pathology, and so on; we have only the MRI CD and report). When they called, Dr. Mohr asked that Gilly come in this Thursday at 11:30 (which works out well, because Thursday is the only day I do not absolutely need to be at the college). So I'm really anxious to know what the meeting will be about exactly. We're hoping for action on the 'treatment' end, and I am holding my breath that no other news comes forth that we haven't already been told; no surprises, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime, many friends and family are busy knocking on the doors of other experts in this field for their professional opinions.

News on the Gilly front never ceases. Each day I think, "What news will I report on today?" and lo and behold, news just happens as time evolves.

Blog from the heart

This photo was snapped on July 17th / o5 in Malawi, on our way to a nature reserve. Gilly's love for nature knows no bounds.

This weekend was filled with friends, family and activity. Last night we dined at Chase; one of our local favourite Lebanese restaurants. Gilly enjoyed the outing immensley, and his loving companions cherished every moment. Gilly was quiet, as usual these days. Finding his words is a struggle (a new expression of his is, "how shall I say it?"), but he remained on top of the conversation, and was even willing to have Sharon put more $ in the meter so as to prolong the evening.

Today we spent time with many a friend, drinking tea from Malawi, listening to music from far off places, and looking through a home grown, hand made Birch Point scrapbook a la Tamara.

Gilly's calves started bothering him again last night and continued to feel sore earlier today. We were advised by Dr. Evan Blauer (well, a tad early, but he's earned his stripes in our books so why wait the 2 months or so), Dr. Shelley Veinish and Dr. Maurice Levitan, backed up by the staff nurse at the Jewish (she's getting used to my telephone voice by now) that we should have his bilateral calf pain (cool vocabulary for a teacher, wouldn't you say?) checked out tomorrow by our family physician to rule out DVT (deep vein thrombosis). Talk about a run on sentence! Seems it's a simple test called Dopplers. Maybe I could get a job as a writer on Grey's Anatomy. I seem to know all the fancy lingo! We'll cross that bridge tomorrow.

Gilly is anxious to get started with treatment, if this is to be in the stars. One doctor so far (who looked at the MRI at our friends' request) agrees that there's no reason to wait. We hope to meet with him later in the week to discuss possibilities other than what we have been presented with thus far. Three MRI CDs reached Israel today and Sema has the ball rolling across the Middle East. We have relevant information from a variety of sources, and we plan to uncover every stone. Hopefully we will be able to be proactive sooner than later.

I loved Vasu's comment today: "You blog from the heart." What a modern day expression. He's so right. As soon as I laid eyes on Gilly 24 years ago last January, I knew I was home. He waited 10 days to pop the question, and I replied, "What took you so long!" I gave him my heart (thanks Trudy!) and have never looked back. Blogging from the heart is so natural, it hurts sometimes.

A date for Saturday night

2 days on B12 and Folic Acid and the calves have improved. Coincidence? Who knows? Aching calves (calfs?) is Gilly's most recent complaint, but today he said they're much, much, much, much better. Who am I to argue?

We went for a long walk with the Zigman's on this most magnificent Saturday. The plan is to meet Marvin, Sharon and Rosanne for an early dinner this evening (in about 20 minutes, actuallt). So nice to get back to some of our favourite activities. Last night we had Shabbat dinner at Grandma's to celebrate all February / March family milestone events. So don't be surprised if you call and find no one at home these days; we're probably out on the town.

Friends and family have been so very attentive to all of us in so many ways. How thankful we are for all the phone calls, visits, emails, consults on various matters, flowers, dinners, favours of all sorts (even before we think to ask), blog comments and more. Gilly laps it all up. He feels honored to be the subject of a blog, and is touched by the response to and through this vehicle of communication.

Gotta get ready. More tomorrow....

Back to where it all began...

(Tamara here filling in for Cindy) Life is cyclical, so it makes sense that we would end up right back where we started. Today we received word from the Mcgill Center for Tropical Diseases. As previously posted, we visited the center in the early stages of our quest for answers, hoping to determine if Gilly had picked up some kind of tropical infection in Africa. This afternoon the results were in...it turns out that Gilly is suffering from a deficiency in vitamins B-12 (also called Cobalamin) and Folate, which can lead to nerve problems, irritability and forgetfulness. Although correcting these deficiencies can take several weeks, Gilly is relieved that some of the forgetfulness and confusion that he has been experiencing may be diminished with simple over the counter vitamins. More blood tests will be taken in four weeks to check if Gilly's vitamin levels have adjusted themselves. Dr Oughton from the Mcgill Center was most helpful with his suggestions, and has therefore earned his fifteen minutes of fame blog-style. Our sincere thanks to him. Have no fear, all cross checking between the Neurological unit at the Jewish and the Center for Tropical Diseases has been done to ensure that these vitamins are safe for Gilly to take in conjunction with his other meds.

A stitch in time

"Unbelievable." That's what we heard through the bathroom door early this evening as Gilly emerged from his first full fleged shower since being admitted to Emergency on the day of that fateful MRI. His stitches were removed this afternoon at the CLSC, and so he immediately took full advantage of his newfound freedom.

If you ask Gilly how he's doing on any given day, he replies, "Better. Much, much better. It's been rough though." It's a well rehearsed response. He seemingly perceives himself as continually getting better, or perhaps just prefers to present himself as such.

He hasn't lost his smile, especially in response to a friendly voice or kind gesture. Even in the hospital, on his first wobbly walk down the hall with the physiotherapist, he stopped to smile at the nurses as they walked by, even though it threw him totally off balance. "Look ahead," she would say, but his head inevitably turned to greet each nurse, followed by a warm smile . I explained to her that this is Gilly's nature, and he'd be just as likely to smile at a male passerby. I'm quite certain that she was not at all convinced.

Gilly worries a lot these days about his unfinished work (engines in faraway places awaiting Gilly's midas touch, bricks to be grouted and kitchen cupboards on the verge of creation). He often voices how much he wishes he could be more useful. All of our married life, I have never had to wait for an offer from Gilly to help out with whatever job was at hand (24 magical years this August). "Do you need my help?" he'd ask, more than just frequently. I would never become a member of the complaining wives club, that's for sure. He has always well surpassed the term 'useful', not to mention generous, and giving of himself out of pure goodness.

My mission now is to help Gilly find, develop and / or accept the challenge of short, constructive projects he can succeed at independently. He continues to have trouble with his eyes, and his coordination is still only slightly improved, but I strongly believe that he can still accomplish more than he realizes. The nature of the 'project(s)' is still a mystery, but I'm thinking....

Hearing (particularly in one ear) is still difficult, especially when there is ambient noise, but thankfully Gilly is beginning to enjoy music again. Nothing like music to soothe the soul. He watches a bit of television, but has trouble following the content and picture.

The social worker at the CLSC is currently investigating what the health system can offer Gilly to support him in coming to terms with the emotional and physical challenges he is faced with.

So how are we doing? The best we can, under the circumstances. Tremendous support from near and far makes all the difference. We're counting on time, knowledge and loads of love to help heal both body and soul.

Our health system needs a good 'tweeking,' I've discovered. "How did you manage to fix it?" my mother often asked Gilly over the years when he miraculously managed to make something work (like when he performed bipass surgery on the microwave oven; still working by the way after umpteen years). He'd answer, "I just gave it a kvetch." Well, we may have to kvetch the health system to get some action, and so we will. We'll do whatever it takes, and then some.

So happy together

Phone calls, flowers, electronic greeting cards and email messages were received from around the globe today in honor of Gilly's birthday. We took a collective step back and reflected on our appreciation for one another; a celebration of the true meaning of life, family and good friends. There ain't nothing like it!


Tonight I will let the sportswriter from the Chronicle tell his version of Yaron's hockey story (see below). My story (posted a few nights ago) was told from a mother's / wifes point of view. Here's the reporter's angle:

Sports
By David Goldberg View all articles from David GoldbergArticle online since March 7, 2006, 13:47
Inspired goal keeps Canucks’ first-place hopes alive
Four-goal second period leads Côte St. Luc midgets to a 5-3 win over the Rockets

Chronicle, Charles Montgomery Côte St. Luc netminder Aaron Blauer gets his glove up on this shot as forward Shaun Waisgrus looks on.

By DAVID GOLDBERG The Chronicle

Trailing 2-0 early in the second to the St. Laurent Rockets on Monday night, and admittedly not playing their best hockey, the Côte St. Luc midget Canucks were looking for something, anything to give them a spark. That’s when Yaron’s dad entered the rink. “My dad just got out of the hospital with a brain tumour, and when I saw him come into the building, that really got me pumped up,” said Canucks’ defenceman Yaron Schwager. “I saw an opening and I intercepted a pass, and then I just took it from there. There was someone in front of me and I couldn’t even see the goalie, so I just shot and hoped it would go in.” And in an inspiring post-goal celebration, Schwager skated over to where his father was seated and saluted his ailing dad by pointing his stick up towards him. “He gave me a thumbs up,” said Schwager. “That meant a lot.”

The goal meant a lot too, as the Canucks hijacked the rest of the period, dimming the Rockets’ red glare. In short order, Cory Klumak scored twice and Yoni Loeub added another to give Côte St. Luc a two-goal cushion. Klumak’s pair travelled a combined total of about six feet, but they were two big yards in the Canucks’ quest to finish in first place. The win set up a Friday night showdown against rival MRO. “We had a great breakout from our zone on the first goal, and Adam Fried took a point shot which their goalie redirected just wide,” said Klumak. “It came off the boards and I shot it in off of his back.” Klumak got the Rodney Dangerfield treatment on his second goal, as St. Laurent showed him no respect ... no respect at all. “Shaun (Waisgrus) drew both their guys to him, and I was thinking, ‘Hey, how is this possible?’” said Klumak, who found himself all alone in front of the St. Laurent net. “He made a great pass to me and I just put it upstairs.” The teams traded goals in the third. St. Laurent scored midway through on the powerplay, with Canucks’ goalie Aaron Blauer down and out on a rebound. But Côte St. Luc put the game away for good with a late empty-net goal courtesy of Ryan Warner. The first period was, according to Canucks’ head coach Sheldon Krakower, typical of what he’s seen all season. “We don’t start the games like we finish them,” said Coach K. “We know what the problem is, but neither I nor the players have been able to figure out how to cure that problem.” After a brutal defensive zone giveaway gave St. Laurent an early 1-0 lead, the Rockets managed to slither a weak goal past Blauer. “I just completely missed it,” said the honest netminder. “It was deflected a bit, but I should have had it.” Not one to make excuses, Blauer did admit that things didn’t add up too well for him at times against St. Laurent. “I missed my afternoon nap because I had to study for a calculus test, and I’m not right without my nap,” said Blauer, who woke up in time to make some terrific stops in the second and third periods. “I felt responsible for the deficit, but I just tried to keep working my hardest after that. And I knew the team would bounce back.” Now they’ll have to show a lot more bounce on Friday, as both players and head coach are well aware. “We’re going to have to work hard and do a better job covering them in our zone,” said Klumak. Coach K said the team has been focussing on the MRO game for the last month. “Tonight was not good enough — we’ll have to have a lot more intensity on Friday,” said Krakower. “Like us, they’re an offensively gifted team, and we’ll need great goaltending to beat them. We’ll have to play a perfect game, but I think we’re ready for them.”
Comment this article / Print this page / Send this text to a friend

Cause for celebration

Tamara is busy preparing for tomorrow evening's birthday dinner. We're going into high gear, cruising at low key. There is one thing that we all agree on: Gilly's 53rd birthday is cause for celebration. The blueberry squares are in the making (but shhh, don't tell him about the home made key lime pie).

Last night's hockey game took a serious turn as soon as Gilly entered the arena. Yaron emphatically scored a goal, and then pointed his stick directly at his father as he glided by, mouthing the words, "That's for you." They won the game, and somehow no one was surprised. Yaron and his team wouldn't have had it any other way. Gilly's spirits soared and he rose to the occasion; He gave them a standing ovation (4 times, I might add). The hockey team and their parents greeted Gilly like a celebrity. It felt great for us all to have Gilly back in town!

Each day, Gilly gets a little stronger and seems less muddled.

We finally received the long awaited CD of Gilly's MRI. Joey's making bootleg CDs as we speak. The plan is to send copies to key people around the world. So many have offered to have 'someone in the know' take a look and offer second, third...opinions. Together we're better, n'est pas? We've got nothing to lose.

Outward and beyond

Today we encouraged Gilly to take advantage of the beautiful sunshine and so we journeyed to our neighbourhood fruit store. He was anxious to thank his good friends for the healthy treats they sent him last week. He loves it there; everyone really does know his name. Even Emma said, "It's like Cheers. Everyone knows his name." I thought it was kind of neat that I had used the same comparison the other day. He really is Mr. Friendly Guy who remembers details about your life, and asks how your mother is doing...that sort of thing.

He tackled Yaron's shelving unit this afternoon, and managed to take most of it apart. The wood felt familiar, and he was satisfied with his efforts.

Today was an improvement over yesterday, but every task he undertakes is a real struggle. Even eating. His eyes bother him, and this is perhaps the most annoying symptom next to his difficulty in verbally expressing his thoughts, and organizing his thinking (the executive functioning).

Sema says he is more fluent when he speaks Hebrew, so if you can speak it well, you may wish to converse with him in his mother tongue. My family chose country house / skiing over Hebrew school when I was young, so I'm no help in this regard.

We're off to watch Yaron play hockey now.

Jammin' with Gilly

Well, today was so eventful that I am late with my blog entry. Sorry folks! I've had 2 concerned calls due to my lack of blogunication.

As you can see, Gilly now wears the same hairdo he had way back when as a soldier, thanks to Avi. A thousand thank you's would not be enough. What a mitzvah! Brad Pitt (spelling?), watch out!!! Gilly looks gorgeous, and he enjoys the light headed feeling.

This morning, Gilly woke up after a good night's sleep feeling rather confused. He couldn't remember how to make toast. We decided to take the culinary interest, and go with it in another direction. There was some fruit salad to use up, since we have SO much fruit. Randee brought it over last week, knowing that I'm staying away from starches at the moment. But how much can we eat, running to the hospital, to work and so on? So instead of letting it all spoil (and anyone who knows me would attest to the fact that I hate to throw good food out), we decided to make jam. Gilly took control of the situation, and we now have delicious mixed fruit jam. He licked the bowl with relish (not the green kind) and rates it as a 10 out of 10. Tomorrow we plan to make Heavenly Chicken (one of our favourites) with the fresh new jam.

Photos by Keren (Gotta give credit where credit is due).

Thanks so much for all the calls, messages, and so on. Our reading audience is great, and we appreciate your concern and attention.

One thing I'd like to put out there is to be aware that Gilly's thinking is somewhat muddled at the moment. Most of you know that he usually loves a good challenge, so instinctively, you may wish to ask him how to fix something, or how something works. Right now, my instinct is that this would place undue pressure on him. It's not the best way to keep his mind busy at this time, because he is well aware that he is confused about the simplest of tasks. He's working slowly and steadily, and with every bit of effort he can afford, to reorganize his vast bank of knowledge. This is mentally and physically exhausting. Perhaps I'm overempathizing, but let's try to keep it on the safe side. Who knows? I could be right.

Our special Dr. Shelley (my long time childhood Birch Point friend) advises that Gilly rests, so we plan to ensure that he takes doctor's orders seriously.

I will return to work tomorrow, since Tamara is scheduled to be here all week, and is on spring break. So no blog until evening, more than likely.

Union rules:maroc break

Where to go from here?

Baby steps

As all you dedicated readers know, Gilly arrived home yesterday. He found the whole experience rather challenging. He felt disoriented, and started to take stock of his situation. Luckily, his nephew Evan was here in a flash (he detected my concern from a distance, Lord knows how) with Grandma (Gilly calls my mom this) and our ray of light, Keren.

Gilly expects a lot from himself. Evan encouraged him to take baby steps, and in time he will resume many of his previous activities. It's next to impossible to hold this guy down for any length of time, so I'm sure he will face his physical challenges head on, one obstacle at a time. Evan, Keren and Grandma soon grew into Fred, Yaron, Tamara, Max and Rosanne. We huddled together and surrounded him with our love and support.

I'm relieved to report that after a delicious bath and a long, restful sleep in his favourite water bed (with his favourite wife, of course), the world seems a lot brighter.

He had an offer for a visit from Keren's dad to cut the rest of his hair to match the shaved spots. He accepted with gratitude, and so the next photos may reveal a new fashion trend.

A Gilly anecdote: He was feeling very down yesterday as I mentioned. I asked him if he would like to have full reign of his movements around the house. This was just the ticket to begin the dialogue of what he was thinking (a feeling of being held hostage in his own environment). I asked him where he wanted to go, and he replied, "Downstairs." This is really his domain.

Well he recently fell all the way down that staircase before we knew what his problem was, so I was being sure to keep the door to the staircase closed. I hesitantly agreed to walk ahead of him if he promised to slowly descend. He was down in no time, scouting out his office, answering a few business calls and listening to me read his email messages (eyes are still not up to par). He wanted to remain there alone, so I asked him 3 times to promise he'd call me when ready to ascend. "No problem", he said. A few minutes later he magically appeared at the top of the stairs, sauntering into the kitchen with assurance. I admonished him for failing to call me, and he simply grinned and said, "Oh well, I'm here, aren't I?" Now this was a normal Gilly response!

Did I mention that he made me coffee yesterday? Well today, he dressed in a flash and started to study his handiwork. He is contemplating how to continue and eventually complete his amazing work.

For those who are unaware, he broke down a good part of our wall between the kitchen and diningroom a few months ago, and was almost finished laying the bricks to complete the livingroom when he had to fly off to Bahamas, and then Africa. He's SO close to completion that it drives him crazy. This may need to be a family project, becasue we won't be letting him take control of power tools anytime soon. Excuse the pun, but grouting together may be a real bonding experience. As Tamara keeps telling us, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Look for a stand outdoors in the near future. He'll probably build it himself.

So I will try to add the 3 pictures I took of him this morning. Suffice it to say that rather than staring blankly into space, only speaking when spoken to as he did yesterday, today he is now puttering about, trying to remember phone numbers, where the coffee filters are, and details of all sorts. He is concerned about all the work he has left to do, and this may push him to get busy in some way or another. In our 24 years together, he has nver NOT been busy until now, so wanting to again is a good sign, I believe.

Continue calling and visiting (remembering that he tires around 8:00 P.M.) and be sure to call first, because we may go out at some point. He's itching to visit the fruit store where the 'gang' knows his name (you know, like Cheers). He wants to thank them personally for the enormous basket of fresh fruit and other goodies that made his hospital stay that much more tolerable.

More news tomorrow. Have a great day, y'all!

Home is where my sweetheart is

Well, we made a 3 point landing about 1/2 hour ago. Gilly is stronger today and certainly thrilled to be home. He just made some coffee for me and is mucnching on Marocs and dates. So wonderful to have gained some normalcy in our lives.

Please note, if I haven't mentioned this before, that Gilly must not be near people with colds and flu, etc. because his immune system is depressed due to the steroids.

So let's all celebrate the good news. I'm off to the pharmacy and then to work. Jerry is here shooting the breeze with Gilly.

Here's hoping and we're coping

Well, the plan is to bring Gilly home tomorrow. He received his walking papers from the doctor today, so the chocolates, fuit, nuts and flowers are on their way to tomorrow's destination as we speak. Thanks Joe, my resident lifter, blogger, and anything else I ask you to be!

There was a steady improvement throughout the day. He walks totally independently now (still looks a bit drunk, but he always was a party animal; he has the t-shirt to prove it). His sentences are becoming more complete. In time, we hope to hear him speculate, theorize with authority and provide answers to all of our questions (even when he doesn't really necessarily know the answer), as he has always done.

Gilly wore his sweatpants all day, but refused to put on a regular shirt. He said if he takes the hospital gown off, they won't believe he's sick. He has finally agreed to don his new fancy shmancy sweatshirt from the Kates and hightail it out of here in the A.M. Here's hoping nothing stands in our way.

My suggestion is to call our home freely as of tomorrow afternoon (houseline, of course), because Gilly loves phone calls, but not after 8:00 P.M. He tires easily now, and I'm kind of crabby in the evenings, if you want to know the truth. Still need some down time when I'm awake.

In terms of visiting, please do, but call first, in case we're out (oh, how I look forward to taking Gilly somehwere different one day soon) or Gilly's not up to it. We won't leave him home on his own at this point, and for now, we're well covered. Tamara will move in on Sunday with Karma the kitten for the week. We're all looking forward to that (more the Tamara part than anything else, but we accept all aspects). It will be amazing to live as the 4 of us again for a spell.

Yaron was lucky today. He goes in for a promising job interview tomorrow. It took no longer than 10 minutes for an offer to come through. We hope it works out well for all concerned. It's a start anyway.

Will continue to add updates as they occur, even when Gilly's on the homefront.

Thanks again for the love and support, and have a good night. Can't wait for tomorrow night when I can take the bundles off of Gilly's side of the bed that I have piled up to make it seem occupied. I won't even mind when he steals the blanket. These Israeli's have thin blood next to us hearty Canadians.

Please be advised that I cannot find the spell check for this blog, so I often have unfnished words, etc. For a teacher, it's really shameful, but you'll all forgive me I'm sure.

"Thanks from Gilly's bottom"

Just to let you all know, Gilly is much more 'with it' today, so he made up the title, and will dictate this message to all of you as we sit here together in the family room:

"I appreciate the fact that I'm getting response. [I asked to what and he means to the blog postings]. I just want to say that I feel great and hopefully I'll be able to get out [when, I asked?] in the next couple of days. If things get any worse I'll let you know. You can definitely visit me. You can definitely call me. My phone is always open [of course he's not always there to answer, now that he's travelling around the ward]. I want to thank you for being supportive."

So as you can tell, today things are looking up in a big way. Gilly is able to complete his sentences now, with short pauses. He is more talkative. He got dressed today and was in sweatpants when I arrived. He feels there's an improvement in his vision, and does not feel dizzy anymore. He walks with much greater balance (still with a walker, but I think for not that much longer). He's in higher spirits overall.

Yesterday, I forgot to mention that Dr. Mohr said the report in the end is that the tumour is considered, for now, a low grade astrocytoma. He will have an MRI in 6 weeks (before he had said 8; is he mixed up or am I ???) and they will determine what to do next based on any changes they may detect.

Gotta run and call Gilly's special cousin Steven right now, because he's waiting for a report. Some people are so impatient, they can't even wait for a blog posting. Really, eh? Just kidding.

More news later.

By the way, Yaron dropped all his courses due to inability to concentrate. I wonder why? If anyone has any ideas about where he can get a job, do let us know. You can even call him. No clue what his cell phone number is. I speed dial! But the house line will do. He needs to be very busy.

Moving spaces / off to sleep

Gilly has been moved to a different room. It is quieter now (semi-private). He does not feel ready to go home yet. Maybe later in the day, but the walking is still unsteady (not on his own yet). He's still feeling dizzy and is having trouble formulating his thoughts (seemingly more so than yesterday for some reason).

His new phone extension is 1371 and he's in room C371. He says he's happy to receive calls and visitors. Maybe call first to be sure he's still here before heading out. Only 2 at a time in his room, because noise confuses him.

His smile never completely faded, but has been less bright since the biopsy. Right now, the devilish grin is making its way back to his expression, I must say. He's enjoying his lunch in his new digs. More news later.

7 p.m.

Gilly will not return home until Friday, more than likely. He is having trouble accessing the words to express his thoughts, complains of double vision again, and seems rather drowsy. Medication may be taking its toll, not to mention 2 surgeries within one week's time. Dr. Mohr is going out of town tomorrow. He suggests that due to these symptoms, Gilly is obviously not ready to go home, and so his stand-in doctor is scheduled to release him on Friday. Gilly prefers to remain here for now, so although the trips to the hospital are exhausting and unpleasant (as hospitals can be), he is in good hands at this time.

He needed a lot of support to walk this morning, and was very unsteady on his feet. This improved as the day trasnspired. I asked him if he'd like me to stay tonight, and in true Gilly form he thought only of me and my comfort. he refused the offer, and promptly drifted off to sleep.

We're all looking forward to Gilly's return. So many lightbulbs that need changing. Okay, you're right, I've been spoiled for the last 24 years!